by AnnElise | Apr 4, 2025 | environment, lifestyle, products, survival & ecology
Dear Papa Amazon,
Dear Mr. Bezos, bringer of all things possible and impossible, maybe TikTok as well, please do another good thing: Deliver us from the beverage drudgery. Yes, hauling our daily bottled water or soda or juice or beer or Red Bull all by ourselves from the store to the car is hard.
Dear Mr. Bezos, the beverages are heavy! Help us out here, these are modern times. Wouldn’t you want to make a buck or two with ultramodern beverage service vans? Do you remember when milk was delivered in glass bottles all across the US of A? I believe Schwan’s is still carting around frozen foods. And, no lie, in Germany they are doing such a truly beneficial beverage service. They drop your crate of beer or soda right at your doorstep. And they take back and refill the bottles too.
Here Is How to Set Up Your Delivery Service
Dear Mr. Bezos, please realize there is a beverage delivery market gap. You can fix this easily. How?
- Step: online ordering like we always do from Amazon. Piece a cake!
- Step: fill up your beverage warehouses a little taller than Total Wine and Beer.
- Step: I will be the first one to purchase a cooler box with a hinky-dinky digital key and put it by my garage.
- Step: just dump my drinks into the box and pick up the empties. Yeah, the bottles have a deposit on them.
Get it? Mr. Bezos, your beverage delivery system will be the best in the world because it creates zero trash. Have you heard that bottles can be washed? Even sometimes the plastic ones. Did you know that aluminum cans are a valuable resource? Aluminum recycles easily.
Spare Us the Garbage
Your beverage delivery system will create a real cycle, not a “recycle”—because why should our municipalities pay for disposing of the trash that vendors make money on in the first place? The garbage mountains are growing, as you know. So, I am hoping that you can fix this situation. I know you can. But I am not sure you are too busy or nice enough.
This is how the rest of it works: you (Amazon) return the empty bottles and containers (perhaps in crates or sixpacks) to the producer (brewery, manufacturer) for refilling. If the bottles are damaged, the producer sends them back to the glass (can) factories. And those either melt the glass/metal or dispose of the materials in a responsible way.
Please give us our daily beverages, Mr. Bezos. I promise, it won’t be much more trouble than your minimalistic cardboard recycling at the moment. You have brought us so much, Papa Amazon. But don’t only bring bring bring! You should also take take take the burden of beverages and trash away.
Oh, Papa Amazon, do a good thing and bless us with a beverage delivery system. And also deliver us from unnecessary garbage. Amen
The War on Plastic
by AnnElise | Jan 26, 2024 | lifestyle, products, social interest, travel & tourism
Australia (yes, this is NOT China) drives on the left, walks on the left, sneezes to the left. How do you avoid being run over? Are Australians bound to be more left-handed too? I figure, they’ve got to be, because the left does most of the work in a car: gears, wipers, climate control, radio. Try that for a change.
Darling Harbor skyline
So, here we arrive in Sydney, in our Holiday Inn, in December 2023. Wherever you look, there are no fat people, least of all the slim and trim Singapore Airlines hostesses. Have they banished the overeaters to Tasmania? Hardly anyone in downtown seems older than 30. Where do they put their seniors? These skinny, fashionable Oriental girls and boys must be all students? I sure feel out of place now.
We tourists are the oldest people around. Some grey-haired troopers in North Face puffer jackets carry sizable backpacks and meander about with walking sticks and hiking boots. Occasionally, you see parents dragging their kids around in a cart. They could be British or German or Dutch. We all hang out at the Public Market. That has everything we need, from lychees to toothbrushes.
The Holiday Inn at Darling Harbor lies amidst China Town. Only Asian people around, Beijing ducks in the shop windows, tasty donut holes (Emperor Puffs) filled with custard, boba shops with many flavors, and the whole range of Oriental cuisine. But what’s with the jostling? Did everybody switch off their inborn proximity sensor?
Asians seem to have expensive seafood taste: a can of three abalone mussels for 100 Dollars! I am not joking. All that dried seafood, some of the most ominous kind, is all very expensive. The abalone—big trays of different mollusks, 1 kg for $675—are harvested in the wild waters of the Tasmanian Sea. Some shell fish divers have even braved shark attacks.
But just go for it! In Australia, you don’t need money. They will take a plastic card for everything. Even the commemorative coin machine at the Sydney Aquarium spews out your minted penny for a tap. The aquarium is an excellent place to go under the sea. It has some of the best shark tanks around
Buses also will let you ride for only a tap: a tap on and a tap off. (No, not a swipe!) If you’re lucky, the tapper doesn’t work and the driver lets you go for free. However, something is amiss with the busses: a signal flashes “bus stopping,” but where-the-heck do we stop? Count on the driver to let you off at the right place because nobody else may speak English.
I always thought I speak English well, but my American accent occasionally collided against the Aussie-speak. It was sure fortunate that our friends taught us lessons about slurpy Tim-Tam cookies, Lamingtons, and the (peculiar) Vegemite spread in the safety of their home. Later I learned some of the local intricacies the hard way.
On the first morning, a ketchup packet exploded on me: I pointed it the wrong way, squeezed, and voila had ketchup all over my snout. Most things don’t seem obvious when you’re under a 14-hour jet lag. Yeah, the blow dryer flicked the frothy soap all over my shirt. Silly me, I hadn’t approached the duplicitous (double-action) faucet from the right angle. Fortunately, Sydney seemed so much cleaner than our American cities. Kudos to the restrooms! And drinks come only with paper straws and there is an extra charge for takeout containers.
I had fun bumbling along the parks and exploring on foot. My mission on Tuesday was to reach the beach. Another faux pas! Bondi is pronounced “Bon-die” or “Bon-day” Beach. Good day? Or a good day to die? Huh? That’s what the Lakota would say. The bus driver wrinkled his brow, then smiled, and taught me the correct pronunciation of my destination.
I finally made it to Bondi. The sandy bay looked just like in the pictures. I encountered fewer tattooed people here than I had expected. But the ones that afforded body art, displayed their whole tribal story from neck to toe. Surfers, right!
It’s fun to watch the surfers at Bondi. Even better than staring into the tide pools at La Jolla. I settled into a coffee shop for a capuccino and avocado sandwich. Australia had me then and there.
At the Sydney Darling Harbor Wildlife Zoo posing with sleepy Koalas
by AnnElise | Jul 20, 2022 | America, environment, lifestyle, products, survival & ecology
War on Crime, War on Drugs, War on Poverty, Star Wars, Price Wars, – Why not have a War on Plastic—NOW? We need one more good war!
We splurge in unnecessary plastic all the time. Where does the waste go?
Refuse, reduce, recycle that plastic!
I confess, I use plastic still too much. Most of it is totally avoidable.
Regardless how judicious you may be, you will have committed one of these 10 Plastic Cardinal Sins. Aren’t we lazy! (Or is it short-term memory loss?). So, let’s restart.
The 10 Cardinal Plastic Sins
- Single-use water bottle: It should have been legally restricted or taxed by now. Some schools and organizations have banned them. Bring your own refillable water bottle. Water in tin bottles available now.
- Plastic shopping bags: Yeah, what’s your problem? Bring your own bags, or a basket. Ask for paper bags. Don’t trust the “recycling” of plastic bags in the stores. Or hopefully the store makes you pay for a plastic bag.
- Take out containers: In the US, it’s still a world of plastic and Styrofoam. Avoid restaurants that serve you tubs of plastic that could be aluminum or paper. Plastic take-out containers were banned in some European countries.
- Online purchases: Hell, no! Get your items from the store, because the shipping material refuse is insane. Peanuts and bubble wrap galore. Leave that stuff to Santa!
- Beverage bottles: Get your drinks in a can, glass bottle, or from the faucet, not plastic! This would be my NEW LAW: Stores must recycle plastic bottles, return them to the manufacturer. Let the Coca Cola deal with the plastic!
Liquid detergent: The utmost insanity of all! Haven’t we always used washing powder? It gives you the same results. Listen up, Tide & Co.: Take your jugs off the shelves right now! We can shake up our own soapy sauce.- Body wash & hair shampoo: Just use bar soap. Even hair shampoo and conditioner are available as solid bars these days.
- Body lotion: Easy fix. Use fragrant, essential, natural oils—in glass bottles. Oils have fewer ingredients than lotions and may be more beneficial than lotions overall.
- Juice & milk jugs: Tropicana switched to plastic carafes. Why?? Other juices still come in cartons. Buy those! One gallon milk jugs can still be recycled in our town. But you may just as well get milk in 1/2 gallon packs.
- Egg “cartons” ???: Why should plastic egg “cartons” even exist?
Our municipal authority, the City of Mesa, has basically given up on recycling. Only about 5 item categories will be accepted, forget about washing out yogurt cups. Since China does not take our American trash any more, the dumps on the Salt River Reservation and the other one by the Florence prison are growing at horrid rates.
ONE MORE EXAMPLE OF ILL-FATED PLASTIC LOGIC: In my college days I met a lady who had a big heart for animals. She cut up the plastic rings from the soda six-packs. Why? So that no sea-life should be caught in it. WHY would our plastic end up in the ocean in the first place? This was some 30 years ago, and ongoing.
At any rate, plastic should carry a Surgeon General’s warning, just like cigarettes:
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Plastic Causes Piles of Trash, Harmful Inertia, Intrusion into the Food Cycle, Death of Sea Life, and various types of Cancer. Plastic Overuse by any Human Has Been Shown to Result in Global Pollution, Toxicity in the Food Chain, and the Increase in Morbidity in Humans on All Continents.
FROM NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC:
Environmental change: California’s new plastics law could force the rest of the nation to cut down on its polluting materials. The legislation mandates, among other things, a reduction in the single-use plastics sold in the state. It also requires 65 percent of plastics to be recycled within a decade—an ambitious goal. Plastics makers will have to foot the bill for recycling. The law could have ripple effects across the nation, but not all recycling proponents are pleased, Laura Parker reports.
Read the full story. (Pictured above, one million plastic beverage bottles are purchased every minute worldwide.)
by AnnElise | May 11, 2022 | America, lifestyle, products, social interest, writing
Wow, I hopped on the Internet–it’s astounding what bandanas are all good for! I thought I could make a book of it. But not without your help. Submit your entries! Download the guidelines below. $200 grand prize; $100 second; and $50 for honorable work (multiple)–tell your friends!
Bandana gone to the dogs
Bandanas have been an important hiking gear for me. Sometimes we have turned around when I forgot my neck-saver. Indeed, I am a redneck. I burn easily. Perhaps that happened to the cowboys too, when they were driving cattle under the scorching Texas sun. Ditto. Necks turn red. Or, wait a minute, were they wearing a paisley red bandana? That would explain the expression, too.
My bandana is blue and has Hopi dancers and decorations on it. Of course bandanas come in all colors and patterns, but red is still the best. And those colorful mini rags are usually dirt cheap. Michaels, the crafts store, will sell them for a couple of bucks. Don’t pay any more than ten. Some bandanas like to claim a boutique extravaganza. Mine actually came from a Goodwill store. Maybe 50 cents? I’ll ask my daughter.
John Wayne’s trademark rag
What else is a bandana good for? It got me thinking. My grandpa never left house without one in his trouser pockets. Mostly—gee thanks, but gross—he used it to wipe snuff and snot off his mustache. But at times (I hope that kerchief was clean), he carried mushrooms or blueberries home in his bandana. He tied the diagonal corners together to make a carry bag. On one occasion, he used his bandana as a bandage after he cut his hand splicing kindling wood.
A bandana could, seriously, save your life. Maybe you got injured and needed a tourniquet. Or you got lost and needed a flag for the helicopter search team to find you. Or you needed to filter drinking water from a desert puddle. My friend Edda might use a bandana as a signal flag for the prettiest Texas cedar tree for Christmas. And on it goes.
Bandanas are not only for hikers, cowboys, and pirates. Animals like bandanas too. Do you have a bandana at home? Maybe you can write a story about it and send it to me. I am so much looking forward to that!
More uses for bandanas here:
by AnnElise | Apr 28, 2022 | America, nutrition, products, travel & tourism
Dole Pacific ship anchoring at San Diego, CA
Like the fat Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland I sit perched on the window sill of our 13th floor room at the Hilton in San Diego. Down there, at the dock, a ginormous cargo ship lies anchored. Its name is the Dole Pacific. It’s stacked high with white containers. Piles of “white mice.”
And then the process begins. Like a cat watching mice at play, I get entranced with the container logistics 13 stories below me. So many containers! So many bananas? Or were they filled with pineapples?
The big “Dole” boxes all have refrigeration fans and stack up perfectly, on the cargo ship as well as on the loading zone. No “supply chain problem” for bananas, so much busy-body activity below.
The cargo ship at anchor had two cranes for unloading the containers. Close by the dock, there was a mountain of containers piled up. Were they empty? Crammed on the islands between the throughways, spindly trailers were neatly filed up. And across from the monster warehouse with its gaping receiving gullets, the “mice” were perfectly sorted into numbered spots to be carted away.
How does all this work? At eight o’clock sharp, the first harbor rig, a motorized box with a hitch in its back, crawled out of the abyss somewhere below me. Its overnight sleeping location was invisible from my windowsill. What was that tiny looking tadpole up to now? Catch some mice? You bet! That cabin vehicle knew exactly what it was doing. It backed straight into one spindly trailer, hitched it, and scurried with it to the dock. There it sidled up to the monster boat. Slowly but surely, the crane drifted one of the hundreds of containers down on the truck’s trailer. And, happily, the truck carted the white mouse off. This process repeated itself a number of times, until half a dozen rigs scurried back and forth between the cargo ship and the distribution area.
They lined up so many mice! I smacked my lips in awe. That was no small feat, because these monster mice barely fit into their spaces. After a while, no more slots were available for the mice to be parked. But, voila, from outside, the cross-country rigs lined up by the pearly gates of Dole harbor business. One by one, ever so slowly, they pulled off one after the other mouse to the open prairie. And they knew exactly, which mouse they were getting. How did they do that? Meanwhile, the harbor rigs filled up the vacant spots with more mice. It was a mystery to me.
After three days, all the containers were offloaded from the Dole Pacific and she sailed off to Ecuador and other places to bring more bananas in. What was in the boxes now? Air mostly, I read, and 5 percent freight.
I was getting hungry for bananas. A cat? Why not.
The terminal at the Port of San Diego can hold about 800 containers. All of them are refrigerated boxes known as “reefers”: Each 40-foot reefer can hold 1000 boxes, and each box holds around 100 bananas. Dole discharges around 2 billion individual bananas and 16 million pineapples in San Diego alone. Read more at:
Today’s ANTI-AD–Stop the PLASTIC Tide!!
by AnnElise | Dec 3, 2015 | America, cooking, products, recipes
It’s Feasting Time again, and don’t we all love pie! Now this lazy cook/baker won’t be telling you anything new about pecan pie and pumpkin pie, only this: You can whip them out in no time from the package recipe and bake them in tandem.
Here you go, two-at-a-time Pecan Pie and Pumpkin Pie: Have your ingredients handy! Your 9-inch deep pie shells are in the freezer already. Preheat your oven at 400 F.
| PECAN PIE |
PUMKIN PIE |
| 3 eggs |
2 eggs |
| 1 cup light corn syrup |
1 (15oz) can pumpkin |
| 1.5 cups pecans (plenty) |
1 (14oz) can sweet. condensed milk |
| 1/2 cup sugar, 2 Tbsp melted butter, 1 tsp vanilla extract |
1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ginger, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp salt |
Step 1: Put the pecan halves in one of you your pie shells; mix up the liquid ingredients in a bowl with a hand mixer, and pour that batter over the pecans. Rinse the bowl.
Step 2: For the pumpkin pie, cream the eggs in your mixing bowl and add all the other ingredients. Whip that up. Pour the batter into the other frozen pie shell.
Step 3: Put the pies on a baking sheet and bake them at 400 F for 15 minutes. Then lower the heat and bake the pies for another 45-60 minutes.
I like to “overbake” the pies because the pecans turn out so much crunchier, caramelized like cinnamon roasted nuts at the fair. I like my pecan pie to have a “praline” flavor, but not darkened too much.
The pumpkin pie, at this baking style, will also get a crunchy crust and turn a more solid, custardy texture. This is for people like me who don’t like their pies “mushy.” Now crown your delectable efforts with a puff of whipped cream. That’s a holiday!
by AnnElise | Nov 25, 2014 | America, cooking, lifestyle, nutrition, products, recipes
A Most Wonderful and Healthy “Orange” Celebration!
Orange is a really good color. At first I didn’t like it because it seemed too shiny and “unreal,” almost artificial. Of course, then the Longhorns’ burnt orange of my UT Austin, Texas, Alma mater made me biased. Recently, I have come to see the influence of orange on many TV ads as well as in print. Orange is a strong color, it stands out. By now you can tell that I also like oranges (our little clementines just ready for harvest), pumpkins, carrots, butternut squash, mangoes etc. Orange is healthy.
OK, you hear, do the squash and pumpkins for Thanksgiving! When else would you cook them? Take your time. Do the work. Wait until it is baked. Set the table nice. Enjoy!
Thanksgiving is not a “fast food” feast. I like Thanksgiving because it is an intercultural celebration, not a political holiday, you don’t have to go to church, and its all about the food. Who does not love to eat! Thanksgiving is perhaps the only day in the year when all of America truly cooks. If you went shopping today, you saw the crazy carnival at the grocery store. As if the world ended tomorrow!
We complain about the labors of cooking the meal, but we should cook like this more often. Why? America does not appreciate food enough. That’s why a large segment of the population suffers from obesity. Am I making sense? We often stuff our mouths without gratitude or MINDFULNESS (I don’t want to go into the psychology). Thanksgiving makes all of us more “down-to-earth” about nutrition and family collaborations. If you have tried to process butternut squash, you know what I mean. Or have you made Chinese dumplings or ravioli together? We should cook like the Amish more often. It seems they do have Thanksgiving every day.
OK, maybe it will be enough if we reduce our fast food impulses.
I cracked the butternut! As I have told you earlier, I am a slow learner. But hope is not totally lost, it seems. Remember, when I complained over the preparation of the tough-to-peel butternut squash? I thought it would be easiest to buy those cubes at the grocery store before ending up in the hospital for cutting off a finger.
Bing! A bulb recently went off at the kitchen tools section. I found the most wonderful, handy tool for the job. Butternut, no problem!
The Best Turkey Left-Over Recipe
This spicy and savory recipe is perhaps the only one that I could remember from a television show. I would call it “Mexican Turkey Shuffle”
You will need:
turkey leftovers, cut into small strips
1 Tbs. olive oil
1-2 jalapeños, diced
1 onion, diced
1-2 shots tequila
1 cup of heavy sweet cream
10 sprigs cilantro, diced
salt & pepper to taste
optional: cranberries, mushrooms, peas & corn
Heat the olive oil in a large pan, sizzle onions and jalapeños for about 5 minutes, then add the turkey pieces. Keep stirring until turkey gets a little crusty and onions light brown. Glaze that off with the tequila and cook for another 5 minutes. Add the sweet cream, cilantro, salt & pepper, and heat all the way through. Serve this stir fry over basmati rice. Bon appetite!
by AnnElise | Aug 8, 2014 | cooking, lifestyle, nutrition, products, recipes, Uncategorized
Pasta rule the world. As the story goes, Marco Polo “discovered” the frilly, shapely, or stringy noodles in China and brought them to Europe in the 15th century. This is still a good story, yet the idea of making dough-to-boil from durum semolina seemed to have existed in Italy since the 13th century. Regardless, Chinese or Italian, pasta rule my cooking world too.
Fettucine by Edda
Everybody cooks pasta once in a while. But very few people make their own. Count me into that group. I just don’t have the time to hang fettucine up to dry like my friend Edda (picture on right). A store-bought packet of Barilla (insert your favorite brand here) would do it for me. Good for you, if you grow your own tomatoes to cook a fresh sauce. I don’t have the luxury to be so purist yummy. But if you, like me, get real happy with quick-and-easy recipes, here are three of my main staples from the pasta season.
Pasta Bolognese (1 lb meat, 1 lb pasta) for 6 Persons
Fry in a saucepot on medium heat in 2 Tbs. olive oil:
-
- ½ large (or 1 medium) onion, diced, for 7 minutes to glaze; then add
- 1 jalapeño pepper, diced, cook together a bit more; add and brown
- 1 pound of lean chuck (turkey, chicken, pork, beef, or 2 cans of tuna), while stirring regularly; add
Bolognese
- 2 cloves of minced garlic
- 2 tsp. salt (or to liking)
- ½ tsp. oregano (go easy, rather less)
- 1 tsp. basil
After meat-spice mix is browned (ca. 15 min) add
- 1 jar of marinara pasta sauce (24 oz./680 g)
- 1 can tomato sauce (15 oz./426 g)
- cup of frozen veggies (optional)
and let this slowly bubble for 15 min, stir frequently. In the meantime set a large pot of water to boil for the pasta. Follow package directions for cooking pasta.
Finishing up the sauce in 5 minutes:
- 2 Tbs. sugar
- 1 tsp. fresh grated pepper
- 2 Tbs. capers (or chopped olives)
- 1 swig of fresh sweet cream (optional)
- ½ cup of red wine (optional)
Here come the flavor makers:
Chop up EITHER fresh parsley OR cilantro OR rosemary to add to your sauce and simmer for 5 minutes. Parsley will give you a rather northern European flavor, cilantro a Mexican/Oriental reminiscence, and rosemary the totally Italian/Mediterranean experience.
Serve the steaming sauce over the hot pasta (spaghetti, fettucine, fusilli, penne etc.) and sprinkle Romano or Parmesan cheese on it. Bon appetite!
WAIT: We are not done. You made enough sauce for 2 meals. Fill half of the sauce into an airtight plastic container and freeze that portion for later use. Because next week we will be making . . .
Hit-the-Spot Lasagna for a Party of Eight
Lasagna must not be complicated at all. The great advantage: it is baking independently while you are free to entertain your guests with appetizers and stories. I adapted a recipe from the Betty Crocker cookbook for non-boil pasta. At first I had trouble with the pasta getting cooked all the way through. But I have learned a little trick. Preparation time 20 min; baking time 1 hour.
Here is what you do:
Grease a 9 x 12 inch glass/ceramic casserole with olive oil; pour ½ of a 15 oz. can tomato sauce in the form and distribute evenly across the bottom. Heat up the oven to 350F.
Ingredients:
- 1 pound of your homemade Bolognese sauce
- 1 can of tomato sauce (15 oz.)
- 1 packet of no-boil pasta for lasagna
- 1 container ricotta cheese (15 oz./425 g) mixed with
- 1 egg (& chopped fresh parsley or cilantro, optional)
- 3 cups of shredded cheese (mozzarella, Colby, cheddar etc.)
LAYERING: Put a layer of non-boil pasta over the tomato sauce at the bottom of casserole. Spread a layer of the ricotta/egg mixture (ca. half of amount) over the pasta. Then cover the ricotta with half of the Bolognese sauce, top it off with a layer of cheese.
REPEAT: lasagna sheets, ricotta mix, Bolognese sauce, shredded cheese
TOP OFF: Finish with a layer of pasta sheets, “paint” that with the remaining ½ can of tomato sauce, sprinkle cheese over it. Finally, carefully pour a cup of water around the edges of casserole to raise liquid to about half height. Casserole should be evenly filled close to the brim.
BAKING: Bake the lasagna covered with aluminum foil for 30 min, remove foil and bake for another 30 min. Take it out and let it rest for 15 min. Serve with a fresh mixed salad.
Bon appetite!
Carbonara Noodles for Any Day
Spaghetti Carbonara, a toss up of pasta with egg/cream mixture, apparently happens when you mix scalding hot pasta with the raw egg, which in itself “cooks” the eggs done. But I have never been so fancy. I will start with any kind of boiled noodles and roast them straight out in a skillet. (I have pasta left over from the Bolognese 2 days ago.)
What you need:
- ¼ stick of butter
- ½ onion, finely chopped
- cooked pasta noodles, enough for a large skillet (ca. 4-5 cups)
- 2–3 eggs, whisked with
- ½ cup of sweet cream
- 1 cup of frozen veggie mix (optional)
- 1 cup of shredded cheese
- 2 stalks green onions, chopped
- 5 sprigs cilantro (optional)
- salt & pepper to liking
Sautee the chopped onion in a large skillet until glazed, add the pasta and (optional) frozen vegetables to be heated through, pour the egg mix on, continue to shuffle, add herbs, cheese, salt & pepper, keep shuffling until egg is set. Serve immediately with a nice mixed salad.
by AnnElise | Dec 15, 2013 | Germany, products, travel & tourism
Das Reutberger Dunkel findet man an den ungewöhnlichsten Orten
Der Berg ruft, heißt es unter den Alpinisten. Aber das Matterhorn juckt mich nicht. Auch nicht der „heilige Berg“ von Andechs. Mein heiliger Berg steht nämlich ganz woanders. Und da gibt es noch ein himmlischeres Gesöff.
Wenn man noch nie in Arizona war, kann man sich gar nicht vorstellen, wie heiß und staubig hier alles ist! Natürlich sind wir im Sommer oft in Bayern und genießen da die herzhaften Leckereien.
In Amerika ist der Kaffee schon vieles besser geworden, seitdem es Starbucks gibt. Beim Brot muss man viel Glück haben. Leider hat mein Lieblingsbäcker, der Breadsmith, zugemacht, aber zur Heidelberg Bakery in Phoenix sind es ja nur 50 Kilometer. Und beim Käse—Importe sind meist so teuer wie Gold—hat Trader Joe (ein Aldi-Zweig) auch ein paar gute Sorten im Angebot.
Natürlich ist für eine(n) Bayer(i)n in Arizona das Leben längst nicht perfekt. Eine Schmerzenszulage für die Wüste wäre nicht schlecht. Aber man arrangiert sich mit allen Mängeln. Fast wäre mein Leben kürzlich ganz perfekt geworden.
Kloster Reutberg von Michael Gollers Schreibtisch aus
Gehe ich da mit einer Freundin, eine neue Bekanntschaft, nichtsahnend in unser besseres Bistro „De Vine“. Das war im März, und wir haben uns gleich bequem auf die Terrasse gesetzt. Wein? Bier? Natürlich Bier. „Kennst du schon unser ausgezeichnetes Dunkel“?, fragte die Bedienung. Sie sagte eigentlich „Dankel“.
Ja, bitte, dann her damit! Und was bringt mir dieser freundliche Engel? Ein Reutberger! Und das in Gehweite von unserem Haus! Ich denk, mich trifft der Schlag. Da habe ich gleich noch eines getrunken. Und die Flasche mit heim genommen. (Das war gut so, wie sich später herausstellte.) Mein freundlicher Ehemann hat mich dann noch obendrein mit ein paar Fläschchen überrascht, pro Stück um die 10 Dollar.
Wie groß kann meine Enttäuschung sein? Das nächste Mal gehe ich zu De Vine, und sie haben mein „Dankel“ nicht. Die Bedienung ist überfreundlich und will mir allen möglichen anderen Stoff verkaufen, aber sie weiß gar nicht, mit wem sie es hier eigentlich zu tun hat.
Mein Großvater war ein Pferdenarr
Schon mein Großvater hat nämlich mit Reutberger Bier gehandelt. Sein Bierdepot war im Waschhaus neben dem Hof. Dankel, Hell oder Weiß. Verdient hat der damit kaum etwas, aber das Handeln war ihm wichtig. Jeden Dienstag kamen die Hofmänner (Hofmann, Vater und Sohn oder Bruder) und brachten ihm die bestellten Tragl für seine Stammkunden.
Da war der Kameter, unser Hausmetzger mit der Seemanns-Tätowierung, der Lang von Siegertshofen, der ziemlich rund und mollig war, und der Mannert, dürr wie ein Zwetschgenmännchen, und oft noch der Reisig, bei dem die Gewohnheit weit über das Maß ging. So ein Bierverkauf dauerte mindestens 38 Minuten im Durchschnitt. Speziell wenn daraus ein Kartenspiel wurde. Ich durfte auch manchmal mit den alten Herren Watten, aber nur wenn ein Spieler zu wenig war.
Und einmal im Jahr gab es Genossenschaftsessen im Reutberg. Da hat mich mein Großvater eines schönen Tages mitgenommen. Aber ich kotzte leider ganz spontan, weil sich die Essiggurken mit der Cola überhaupt nicht vertrugen. Hätte ich nur ein Dunkles getrunken. Aber mit zehn denkt man halt nicht so weit. Ich weiß nicht mehr, ob mich der Großvater noch ein zweites Mal mitgenommen hat.
Klassentreffen im Reutberger Biergarten
Natürlich sind diese alten Zeiten schon längst dabei. Aber ich dachte, dafür dass ich so vielen alten Männern zugehorcht und mit ihnen Karten gespielt hatte, sollte ich mir das schöne alte Emaille-Schild von Opas Reutberger Bierdepot schon verdient haben. Meine Mutter brachte es mir bei einem Besuch nach Arizona mit.
Und jetzt im Jahr 2013? Nix mehr mit Münchner im Himmel. Hacker Pschorr, auch nicht schlecht, gibt es öfters mal, aber selten einen so feinen MicroBrew wie das Reutberger „Dankel“. Aber ich geb’ ja nicht so schnell auf.
Schreibe ich gleich an die Webadresse von dem amerikanischen Distributor vom Flascherletikett. Sofort schreibt mir ein freundlicher Herr eine Mail zurück, wo genau er das Reutberger Bier in Arizona herumschickt. Und wenn ich nicht erfolgreich sei, dann könnte ich ihn auch gerne mal antelefonieren.
Der Total Wine auf der Williams Field Road in Gilbert sollte mein Reutberger Dunkel haben. Da rufe ich an, und sie schauen äußerst hilfsbereit auf ihrem Computer nach. Sonst schon, aber heute nicht, sagen sie klagend. Aber der Store in Phoenix auf der Camelback Road hätte noch einen Karton voll.
Merry Christmas from Cactus Nick
Gleich beim Laden angeklingelt. Ja, genau, sie hätten da noch einiges vom Reutberger Bier. Hallelujah, für die Feiertage!
Also ziehe ich sofort mit dem Mapquest auf 36 Meilen unbekanntes Gelände. Nach ein paar Fehlabbiegungen stehe ich endlich vor dem Geschäft (oder Warenlager?). Der Laden—Total Wine (&Beer), das stimmte total–hatte einfach alles! Sogar Apfelkorn und blauen Tequilla, chinesisches Bier, thailändische Barbecue Anzünder, Weine um die 100 Dollar pro Flasche bis unter das Hallendach—dass wir Menschen so viel saufen?—und auch das Reutberger.
Aber, das ist doch ein Helles! Gleich rufe ich nach dem schwarz gekleideten jungen Mann mit den großen Löchern in den Ohren. Er bemüht sich sehr freundlich und riskiert offensichtlich für mich Kopf und Kragen, weil er mit seiner Schiebeleiter auf das höchste Regal klettert. Aber da oben ist auch nichts mehr zu finden.
Nur ein einziges Flascherl Reutberger Dunkel taucht hinter den Hellen versteckt letztendlich doch noch auf. Das war’s! Das “Dankel” ist etwas ganz Besonderes. Bestimmt hatte schon ein anderer Liebhaber die Flasche so versteckt, dass sie nur für ihn allein noch zu finden war.
Die edle Gelegenheit mein Dunkles zu genießen muss ich mir erst noch ausdenken. Denn dabei will ich mich im Himmels-Willen nicht vertun. Es wäre schad, wenn es den Zweck verfehlte. Mit dem Benzin eingerechnet kommt mir dieses eine Fläschchen Bier teuer zu stehen, etwa 20 Dollar. Aber das war es mir wert.
Also, wenn du mich besuchen willst, dann weißt du eh schon, was du mir mitbringen kannst. Na dann Prost! Und Reutberg sei Dank!
Mein Großvater hat in vielen Facetten die dominante Rolle des Jakobs in meinem Roman „Der Keltenschimmel“ beeinflusst. Ich verdanke ihm ganz viele bunte Eindrücke meiner Kinderzeit, die originalgetreu aus dem bäuerlichen Leben gegriffen sind.
REUTBERGER KLOSTERBIER
DER KELTENSCHIMMEL
by AnnElise | Feb 21, 2013 | America, lifestyle, products
Wenn sonst nichts hilft, dann her mit Arm & Hammer. Das ist „baking soda,“ auf gut Deutsch, Backnatron. Man nennt es auch „sodium bicarbonate“ oder „doppelt kohlensaures Natrium“. Ohne das geht gar nichts bei uns in Amerika.
Dieses Arm & Hammer ist ein wahres Wundermittel, wie ich nach mehr als 20 Jahren in Amerika feststellte. Eigentlich gewundert hatte ich mich schon lange. Speziell darüber warum so ein großes Aufhebens über baking soda gemacht wird.
Jeder kennt das runde rote Logo, darauf der starke Schmiedgott-Arm mit dem Vorschlaghammer im festen Griff. Noch älter als die Coca Cola-Marke existiert es schon seit 1860 herum—eine unendlich lange Zeit im schnelllebigen Amerika.
Der Hammerarm blinkt im Supermarkt von den unterschiedlichsten Produkten herunter. Im texanischen Studentenheim standen immer ein paar geöffnete Pakete in der Speisekammer. Ich fragte mich, warum?
Ich „entdeckte“ Arm & Hammer eines Tages mit Paukenschlag. In einem Gartencafe in Seattle stach mit eine Wespe in den Zeh. Das war nicht angenehm. Wie ich so auf einem Fuß schmerzerfüllt durch den Garten hüpfte, rief eine Begleiterin rasch nach der Bedienung: „Baking soda and vinegar, please!“ Die Kellnerin verstand sogleich.
Also löffelte meine Freundin vom Müttertreff das weiße Pulver auf die geschwollene Stelle und träufelte Essig drauf. Es schäumte! Welche Wohltat, das war so schön kühl! Doch, wirklich, der Schmerz war auf die Hälfte reduziert. Kohlensaures Natron war entzündungshemmend noch dazu.
Was man mit baking soda nicht so alles machen kann! Mit demselben Essig-Backnatron-Rezept entfernst du auch Kalkablagerungen vom alten Duschkopf. Oder du baust mit deinen Kindern einen schäumenden Vulkan für die Schulausstellung.
Arm & Hammer ist auch ein Deodorant. Deshalb kann man es sich unter die Achseln schmieren oder eine offene Packung in den Kühlschrank stellen, damit der Blumenkohl von letzter Woche nicht gar so stinkt. Oder du streust es ausgiebig ins Katzenklo, dann brauchst du weniger oft ausmisten.
Anscheinend ist Arm & Hammer etwas unbekömmlich für Insekten. Erst gut zehn Jahre nach dem Studium wurde mir klar, dass im Studentenheim niemand die Absicht zum Backen hatte. Nein, das Arm & Hammer diente als biologische Küchenschabenfalle. Hat es geholfen? Nicht ganz. Küchenschaben gibt es in Texas noch immer genug.
Arm & Hammer macht alles weißer. Also schüttest du eine halbe Tasse in die Waschmaschine, weil es gleichzeitig desinfiziert. Logischerweise macht man es in die Zahnpasta rein, weil dann das Lächeln noch strahlender wird.
Wenn du mal Rotwein auf den Teppich geschüttet hast, streu das Arm & Hammer drauf, dann wird’s sauber. Du kannst auch Silber damit putzen, denke ich.
Kein Mensch backt mit Arm & Hammer, aber der vielseitige Nutzen ist unübersehbar. Es wir schon in die Müllsäcke eingeschweißt zur Geruchsvermeidung. Und auch die härtesten Kichererbsen werden damit schneller weich gekocht.
Nicht zuletzt ist es für Gesichtsmasken und Peels der wahre Hammer. Also weg mit der Mandelkleie, her mit dem Backpulver! Und immer schön geschrubbt.
Arm&Hammer
